Today I learned

 Two-Face fought

the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

Who knew?

The 'Round-The-World Crimes, #3

Having pulled off his theft of the Zok Movie Studios payroll as his "visit to Spain", Bull's-Eye is on to his next target: the Red Fez Cafe!

In Star City's famous Little Morocco neighborhood, of course.

"So I figure Bull's-Eye's world tour will take place right in town!"  Boy, nothing gets past you, does it, Ollie?  I don't know why Bruce says all those things about you.

Bull's-Eye is really the master of smack talk.  The Joker's too busy throwing flunkies at Batman to say anything other than, "Get him, you fools!"

I love the idea that Star City has "many colorful foreign sections." I would definitely write it that way. But nothing usual; only ethnic neighborhoods you never actually find: Uruguaytown; Moldovaville;  Little Yakutsk; Vatican Avenue. After all, Star City deserves some unique and charming character, and Green Arrow sure doesn't provide any.

Bull's-Eye's visit to the Red Fez seems desultory, merely a pit-stop to make sure Ollie can catch up with him. His real target lies elsewhere...

I'm just not going to ask how Ollie knows the manhole outside of the Red Fez leads to Chinatown.  But I'm sure it's due to some disastrous dinner date at the Red Fez.  

Roy is awesome; probably has the entire Chinese calendar of festivals memorized, in Chinese.   Let's hope Speed Saunders is there at the festival, examining a bloody corpse in the street, and Ollie trips over him on the way out of the sewer.

Ah, yes.  The Feast of the Purple Dragon. I never miss the one here in the District.

Bull's-Eye, a planner, has already weaponized the purple dragon itself as his mean of robbing the Chinatown bank (which, as always, is closed on the Feast of Purple Dragon).

In comics, flames will melt ANYTHING.
Except Superman, of course.

This is the moment Ollie's been waiting for: the chance to do some high wire acrobatics on an arrow line. He lives for that.

Poor Roy, passive-aggressively trying to rein Ollie in at every turn, to no avail. "So, this is a bank robbery and there are already police here armed with guns, so maybe we could hang b--"
"TALLY-HOooooOOOOO!"

Meanwhile, Bull's-Eye is making good his exit via the back alley.

Oh, fer-- you're not REALLY going to fall for this, are you, Leapo?

Well, look at that. A giant target that Bull's-Eye didn't put there just happens to be in the alley blocking his getaway.  What an odd coincidence <eyeroll>.

The Green Arrow's maneuvers at this point are solid; he goes OVER the bank, having reasoned Bull's-Eye escape route is in the back.

Unless Roy suggested it off-panel. Possibly in Chinese.

Fisticuffs are a lot more effective than arrows in close quarters.

"This is too much!"
HAW! I love Bull's-Eye.

Bull's-Eye fed-up reaction at this point is priceless.  And familiar. Where have I seen this scene before...?

Oh,  yeah. Guess Frank Miller's a Bull's-Eye fan, too.

SHOOT HIM, LEAPO, SHOOT HIM!

Sorry; wrong comic.

SHOOT HIM, LE-- Oh. I guess not.
Apparently The Green Arrow is better prepared than The Batman today.

Clearly, Bull's-Eye is not prepared for the unlikely event of The Green Arrow having a brain in his head; he's got no rockets up his leg-sleeves this time!  But there is one obvious (and thematic) exit available to him; the giant target!

No toon can resist the old "Shave and a Haircut"!

Bull's-Eye can't resist jumping THROUGH the bull's-eye as a means of escape; it's just too on-point.

But...WHAT'S THIS?!

<sad trombone noise>

LMAO. Nice one, Ollie.  Somehow, in the amount of time it took Bull's-Eye to jump into the sewer outside the Red Fez, you:

• determined he was going to rob the Chinatown bank;
• deduced his likely avenue of exit;
• acquired or manufactured a giant bull's-eye sign;
• hung it in the alley behind the bank;
• alerted the police to park a paddy-wagon behind it;
• and returned with Roy to the rooftop of the building across the bank.

Yeah; no; I ain't buying it.  It's a nice idea, and if this were a Batman story, the writers would have found a way to give Batman the time to do all that.  But this is a The Green Arrow story, and he was simply allowed to catch Bull's-Eye because there were only two more panels left and it was time for the writers to head to their local Red Fez for some highballs.

Although the Joker has certainly fought The Green Arrow,

The Joker #4, 'natch.

we've never had the chance to see Bull's-Eye go up against The Batman. HOWEVER...

Yeesh; prison life was hard on Leapo.  Somebody must have cut his nose off. My money's on the Penguin.

in 1961, he WAS the person who inspired another criminal to become "The Blue Bowman" to fight Batman.

But we aren't going to waste any time on Phil Cobb.  
Bull's-Eye he ain't.

The 'Round-the-World Crimes, #2

Having been disparaged in the newspaper as a "local yokel", that baleful buffoon, BULL'S-EYE, has resolved to commit a series of " 'round-the-world" crimes ... without ever leaving town!  

A plan, which seems only to EMPHASIZE the newspaper's point, not refute it.  
But I do have not have a Golden Age brain.

Naturally, Bull's-Eye has to advertise this plan to the word (and to The Green Arrow).

"The Green Arrow will stop him!"
We are all of us born into this world with the trusting innocence and naiveté of a Star City citizen.

Now that The Green Arrow and his sidekick know Bull's-Eye new M.O., they conduct an exhaustive analysis of his potential targets, warn those places and make arrangements to be immediately contacted directly in case of a Bull's-Eye attack.  Meanwhile, they methodically search all the abandoned warehouses, which, by law, all villains must hide out in.

Yes, Roy; knowing how and where a criminal is going to strike IS a great help in crimefighting.  Next time you see Bull's-Eye, perhaps you can politely ask him to somehow indicate where his next target it. Oh, wait, I forgot; HE ALREADY DOES THAT..

Nah, just kidding.  They do none of that because The Green Arrow is not a detective.  They just cruise around town in the gigantic Arrowcar, hoping they see one of Bull's-Eye signs that indicate where he will strike.

Or wait for the police to tell them where to go.
I'm sure there are a lot of police in Star City eager to tell The Green Arrow where to go.

I am enthralled by the name "ZOK" studios, one of the most counterintuitive in-story business names I have even seen.  Sure, nowadays, you might name a movie studio "Zok" as part of positioning its brand as a wacky outsider, a producer of exciting and unusual films.  But this is August of 1947 and one does not do that.  Movie studio names must reflect Size, Height, or Quality: Mammoth, Zenith, Utmost, Superior, Colossal, Apex.

And we all know EXACTLY where Apex Studios is.

I guess all the good names were taken by decent studios in serious cities like Coast City and Apex City, leaving Star City with only crappy names left like "Zok". So Zok-ward head the Quivering Duo, where Bull's-Eye is attacking the set of a bullfighting picture.

There's an interesting detail here I want to focus on.  At first, the film-makers are distressed at the interruption of their film-making. UNTIL...

"Relax! It's just that baleful buffoon Bull's-Eye!

They thought that they had reason to be upset; UNTIL they realized it was "just Bull's-Eye".  So either the Star City public doesn't take Bull's-Eye seriously (can you imagine?) or they are simply ON HIS SIDE, which is a measure of the popularity of The Green Arrow.

Points to Zok Motion Picture Studio for hiring culturally authentic actors.

Jeez, Bull's-Eye works that "costs a dime if you miss" bit to DEATH.  One day, I'd like to see Ollie take him at his word and, suddenly remembering that he's extremely wealthy, just unload a dump-truck of dimes on him, likely killing him with comic book irony.

It worked on Rocky Grimes, after all.

I'm actually impressed by what The Green Arrow does next. He ignores Bull's-Eye, who is clearly just trying to draw all the attention to himself, and focuses on stopping the henchmen, who are meanwhile robbing Zok Studios.

Payroll. It's always payroll.  Being a crook in the Golden Age was SO EASY.  No wonder they ran around Issuing Challenges and Daring The Authorities To Stop Them.

This, however, is where Bull's-Eye shows he's actually a clever villain rather than just a dumb crook. One of the readers of this blog is a long-time friend with whom I have worked many times, including producing some very complicated (but wildly successful and profitable) stage productions, and we have been asked repeatedly for The Secret of Our Success.  Naturally, there were many factors, but we always simply point out that, unlike everyone else, we assumed that some things would go wrong, and we PLANNED for it.  So, too, Bull's-Eye:

Bull's-Eye already ASSUMES The Green Arrow will catch his stooges.  In fact, he's counting on it.

I love the fact that riding a bull, and directing its course, is child's play for Bull's-Eye.  Bull's-Eye isn't the Joker's rival; he's the Joker's IDOL. Poor Joker; he'd love to be a carefree, laughing crime-clown, but he lives in Gotham City.  There, you have to rack up a substantial body count before the police, let alone, Batman will give you any attention.

"Not yet, Dick; the body count is still single-digit.  We mustn't dilute our brand."

Bull's-Eye merrily rides the bull through a fence and away from the studio, BUT The Green Arrow is also prepared with his anti-bull arrows!

We don't actually see The Green Arrow stop the bull, which happens between panels.  I assume Ollie, who, always remember, is a American tribal anthropologist, and Roy, who, always remember, was raised within such a tribe, simply shot it dead and justified it by making sure they used every part of the bull, letting nothing go to waste.  Regardless, Bull's-Eye was even prepared in case the bull got shot!

He has ... rockets up his legs and flying squirrel wings in his costume?  Bull's-Eye's the BEST.

How does he land safely? Please; dude invented parkour, while being shot at. He's ain't called "Leapo" for nothing.

Tomorrow: The Green Arrow gets two more shots at The Bull's-Eye!

"The "Round-the-World Crimes!", #1

 Let us visit our favorite time-stranded hero,

Yes, in the Golden Age, they called him "THE Green Arrow".  Not just in the logos, but the characters in the story did it, too.  If you think "The Batman" sounds silly, try saying "The Green Arrow" every time.

I say "time-stranded" because we must never forget that current continuity asserts that our modern-day Ollie (and Roy) were stranded in time (the 1940s, specifically).  I forget how and why, because I don't care. What I care about is the fact that THESE Golden Age The Green Arrow stories aren't some Earth-2 version of Ollie; they are actually OUR Ollie.  Meaning that Ollie adapted to the 1940s with GUSTO and appears to have loved it.  No whining about 'fat cats' and 'the little people'.  Just fighting dumb-@$$ villains like The Octopus.  It makes me love The Green Arrow.  Kind of.

Another character I love is The Green Arrow's nemesis, the hilariously unsubtle Joker-manqué, "Bull's-Eye", whom he faces off against in today's tale,

"The 'Round-the-World Crimes"
In the Golden Age, they still remember that it's actually "around-the-world" and accordingly used an apostrophe when dropping the "a".  

I appreciate how the "crime clown" motif was adapted for The Green Arrow.  Bull's-Eye is a former circus clown acrobat.

I can't tell you how much I love the name "Leapo".  
This being the DCU, I bet his real name is Lee Povitch.

He is so agile that the Quivering Duo can't hit him with their arrows.   This angle makes him a perfect foil for The Green Arrow and just different enough from the Joker to be his own man.

This Bull's-Eye story, however, is PARTICULARLY Jokeresque, as you will see.

"That Baleful Buffoon" isn't as awesome a sobriquet as "The Harlequin of Hate", but everything in Star City just hews to a lower standard.

One of the Joker's earliest schticks was announcing his crimes (and the murders that facilitated them) in advance as act of bravado, daring the authorities to stop him.

There's no reason work should be boring, you know.

The Joker does this for giggles.  Bull's-Eye does it out of necessity, because otherwise there is zero chance The Green Arrow would ever get near him.

Star City's motto: "We Grade On A Curve."

Bull's-Eye literally places a bull's-eye symbol to mark the place he intends to target, so that The Green Arrow can't miss.  Ollie's a phenomenal archer, but, as previously discussed, he's not really a detective.

Ollie and Roy costume up and head to the Tourism Agency, where, exactly as advertised, Bull's-Eye is pulling a caper.  

So, how long do you think Bull's-Eye & Co. had to kill time at World Tours Inc., waiting for the The Green Arrow to finally show up?
"Mr. Eye, perhaps you'd be interested in bundling a trip with hotel and rental car arrangements? It saves money and maximizes your freedom abroad!"

Note that there's none of that "THE Green Arrow" nonsense for Bull's-Eye. He has zero respect for or fear of Ollie.  I wouldn't be surprised if he already KNOWS Oliver Queen is the Green Arrow and just doesn't want to spoil the fun.  Bull's-Eye is everything the Joker wants to be and doesn't need to kill anybody to prove it.

"For the thrill!" = out of pity

Ollie and Roy do their usual "pin 'em to the wall with arrows" bit.

"It's South America for me!"
"It's <blank> for me!" is classic Golden Age prose. You hear it at least once in every JSA story, even though I don't think any real person has ever used the phrase this way.

Next comes this disturbingly ribald interchange:

"Can I choose... both?"

Bull's-Eye brushes off The Green Arrow's empty threat and leap(o)s off to freedom.

C'mon; you know the Joker is never actually this much fun.

I don't know how The Green Arrow wound up ass-on-floor during that interchange, and I don't care.  It's just the natural result of Leapo, a buffoon by choice, interacting with The Green Arrow, a buffoon by nature.

But now the story gets VERY Joker-y.

"Local yokel"? Yowtch.

Usually, I am inclined to be very sympathetic toward Leapo for his lack of recognition (and a decent challenge). But, realistically... YOU were the one who chose to be The Green Arrow's nemesis, Leapo. Don't be surprised when that doesn't exactly earn you a world of respect.

There's nothing more Jokerish than getting pissy about poor press and then coming up with a scheme to turn that situation around (thematically, if possible).

"Gotham City will rue the day it mentioned the word BONER!"
I think we all rue that day, Joker.

Please stop texting me these pics, Joker. You're no Jared Leto.

So, too, then, Bull's-Eye, who decides to stab back at the idea that he's just a "local" by promising a ROUND-THE-WORLD crime-spree. WITHOUT LEAVING TOWN!

See, the Joker (or even the Penguin) would have just shot that guy on the spot.  But Star City simply doesn't have enough suitable manpower to enable such behavior.

Tomorrow we learn just what Bull's-Eye has in mind (and how he helps The Green Arrow keep up with him).

Backwards Science-Magic

 I am willing to confess that TODAY is the day I learned:

that Johnny Quick could turn OFF his speed by reciting his speed formula BACKWARDS.

And that's justcomic book logic!

Magical Marvel Moon Mystery

In The Magical Mysteries of SHAZAM! #6, Billy Batson receives the wisdom of Solomon when he becomes his superpowered alter ego.

However,

Solomon didn't understand gravity. Neither does Billy or his writer (Steve Orlando, who majored in creative writing instead of physics) since Billy's description is exactly the OPPOSITE of how gravity works.  As you plunge to the center of some large celestial body like the moon, an increasingly large amount of mass is above you--pulling you away from the center. When you reach the center of the gravitating mass... there's no more pull of gravity from the moon.  Well, more accurately, you have reached the point where the moon is pulling you equally in all directions; the combined pulls cancel one another out and the end effect is: zero gravity. 

Oom (the giant creature whom Billy has just entombed) might have difficult climbing out of that terribly deep hole (1080 miles, approximately), but it certainly won't be because of gravity. The moon's gravity, as pretty much anyone knows (or can look up) is only one sixth that of Earth's at the surface.  It wouldn't even reach that strength until Oom finally climbed to the TOP of the hole.

I know Billy's POWERS are magical, but his world should still have normal physics.